One of the greatest daily communication challenges we face is that we’re constantly bombarded with beeps, Tweets, and downloads.
Blackberries, I-phones and other high-tech and low-tech gadgets are running us in circles with literally hundreds of messages and images a day. Most of them are irrelevant to our lives and are things we didn’t ask for. It can be tough to focus on one undertaking at a time. Multi-tasking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There’s simply too much stuff.
While nifty gadgets and communication tools are useful in today’s competitive world, it’s ironic that the human brain is wired to effectively focus on one task at a time. Interpersonal communication requires our utmost and undivided attention. We must learn to speak and listen to others and ignore the outside distractions vying for our attention.
Quality Questions
The most important ways to communicate, build rapport and gather information to conduct business lies in your capacity to ask quality questions. This requires your laser-like focus. You may be able to ask a question while sending a text message but the quality of it will probably be poor. That’s because your mind is not fully on the dialogue. The result is a disconnect between listening to the response and your ability to drive the conversation forward with effective follow-up questions and conversation. Your failure to ask powerful questions, along with poor listening skills, often leads to mediocrity and frustration that can be avoided.
So the Question Is: Who Asks Good Questions?
People who ask quality questions are empowered. People who ask questions are psychologically in control of the conversation. Most high achieving sales professionals, lawyers, psychologists, teachers and news reporters can directly attribute their success to their knack of asking quality questions. Remember, if you are not getting good information, ask better questions.
Here are 4 tips to asking good questions:
1. Ask open-ended questions. These start with words such as who, what, where, when, why and how. They require the person responding to open up and share information and details. If you ask close-ended questions that simply require a yes or no response, the conversation will likely come to a “close” or dead-end.
2. Request specifics. By being inquisitive and asking for clarification in conversations, you will develop a more thorough understanding of the issue at hand. In addition, you will be showing the person you are speaking with that you are truly paying attention and are engaged. Some examples include, “What exactly do you mean?” and “Can you give me three goals that you would like us to achieve by the end of the contract?”
3. Gather factual and emotional information. Factual information is important but emotions in communication shouldn’t be ignored. Questions such as,“What are your priorities?” and “What’s most important to you?” are good ways of probing.
4. Go deep. Questions provide us with valuable information. If your boss is critical of your report, consider asking the following questions: “What specifically would you recommend that I do differently in the future?”, “What three specific areas were up to your satisfaction and where could I have made improvements?” Put a positive and focused spin on your questions and you’ll quickly get to the core of the situation.
Keep in mind, the most pathetic question you can ask is “Why me?”
(Photo Credit: ThieFree)
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